Candidate Profile #6: John Edwards


John Edwards! He’s more than just John Kerry’s losing buddy!

He’s a smiley man with good hair who spent years and years battling big industry on behalf of malpractice victims and little children everywhere. Seems like a genuinely nice guy, and the best thing about him is what you can pull up on Google Image search. Seriously, the man is delightfully photogenic.

For the Battle of Agincourt, you lily-livered knaves!

Under the cut: read about what Edwards stands for, cause you probably don’t know.

Semi-boring Facts:

Johnny Reid Edwards is a Democratic nominee who was born to a working class family in South Carolina. He was the first person in his family to attend college, getting his undergrad in textile technology from North Carolina State University, and his law degree from UNC Chapel Hill. He worked as a lawyer specializing in defending alleged victims of corporate negligence or medical malpractice. In 1998 he won election to the Senate for North Carolina, serving one term. He campaigned for the Presidential race in 2004, but lost in the primaries to Kerry, who made Edwards his vice-presidential running mate. Between elections, he has worked as a consultant at Fortress Investment Group, toured as a public speaker, helped fundraising efforts for Democrats, and working for his One America committee.

What he stands for:

Edwards’ main platforms are eliminating poverty, fighting global warming, providing European-style universal health care, and withdrawing troops from Iraq. He originally voted for the Iraq War Resolution, but has apologized a little bit for it. In the past he’s been generally in support of abortion rights, affirmative action, anti-spyware legislation, and the death penalty. A lot of his political stances seem to grow out of his years of legal work fighting for the little guy.

Personal Tragedy:

Edwards has some serious tragedy behind that smile. His first son, Wade, died in 1996 at the age of 16 when his Jeep was blown off the road. After Wade’s death, Edwards decided to go into politics, and his wife quit practicing as an attorney. Following the 2004 presidential race, his wife Elizabeth announced she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She was treated with chemo and radiotherapy, but in 2007 announced that her cancer was back in incurable form. Both Elizabeth and John Edwards have insisted they will continue to campaign as much as possible, taking a break when she needs treatment.

Potentially Offensive Remarks:

Edwards recently mock-denounced Stephen Colbert’s camp as being in the pocket of snack food companies (Colbert is sponsored by Doritos, or so he claims). Edwards’ camp said they were not funded by salty goodness, but it’s LIES – they indeed have taken some money from Frito Lay.

Random Factoids:

Edwards grew up poor. His father was a textile worker and supervisor, while his mom ran an antiquing business and then worked as a letter carrier.

He was a football star in high-school.

He beat a guy named “Lauch Faircloth” for the Senate race in North Carolina. No wonder.

Edwards was named People magazine’s “Sexiest Politician Alive” in 2000.

He wrote a book, “Four Trials” about his career as a lawyer.

Edwards Resources:

Wikipedia entry

Official Site


On the issues

Twitter (which is creepy, in any context)

Delightful Edwards Photos:

Who’s got a thumb and wants to be president?? this guy:
thumbs up

OH man look at that dreamboat:

La Familia:

Gotta comb the eyebrows:

Smelling Hillary:

Once again, from Vote For Breakfast:


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One Response to “Candidate Profile #6: John Edwards”

  1. retro Says:

    Go Colbert! As wacky and wierd as he is, I’d vote for him.

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